Bitch and Moan

There are moments in my life where what is great in me comes out. Then days where the worst is present. Days where I doubt myself and days when I'm the most confident person in the world. Last week I had moments where I just wanted to curl up and tuck myself way into some hole and I had to make a conscious decision to not let myself do that. The past was making itself present and getting down about the future. So, I vented a bit and got it out of my system.

This week has been good. I'm starting a new freelance gig tomorrow with a cabinetmaker. This weekend I'll be helping out at Eyebeam with a workshop and then next week I've got an interview at a CC. So, things are moving along. I've also decided to throw myself into trying to substitute teach. While it's not the most lucrative job, it is getting to something that I've always wanted. That is to be involved in education. I was thinking about it as I filled out paper work and it just seems like back in my mind, what I've always wanted to do was teach. While not the only reason,it was the main reason I went to grad school. When seeing a soccer game earlier this fall, it wasn't neccessarily the game, but what I know goes into being a coach and part of a team. So, I've going to go straight for what I want.

Though, I'll say that I've seen what teaching can do to an artist. That was evident in grad school. So, I'm very eager to go out there and try to change those habits. Yet, I'm still going to try to focus on the art making. It is still my greatest desire to be a success as an artist. Now, I just need to find a patron to support me.