Returning

Thursday will see me return to the US. Part of me is excited about returning back to something familiar. I'm missing autumn and college football. Though in relationship to my trip, I'd happily give up football for watching soccer and Singapore will look very good when January comes to upstate New York. It is hard to decide where you feel you should be when the choices seem minute in ways. When I think about it, it's more about the person that I want to become than the person that I am. I'll gladly give up familiarity to gain something else.

For me that sense of uncertainity feels good in a way. I'm having to adapt and not just falling into habits that I've been doing for such a long time. I don't every want to be come that person who falls in the same cycle of life. It excites me when I can shake life up a bit and have to deal with new problems. My hope is that life never becomes so habitual.

When I came here, I was looking for the opposite of the life I was living. It it isn't so opposite, yet I think it was a step in the right direction. In certain ways Singapore is very different than Madison. Though in other ways there are many similarities. I feel that on the surface things are different, but when you step back things are really just the same. Maybe moving back to New York will feel different also. I don't know.
Robin was saying that I'm one of those people who visits a new place and wants to move there. Doing so without really thinking about it. I guess that new places excite me. What is really wrong with that. Why settle for the same thing all the time? I like the challenge of searching for interesting foods, places, ideas. I'm not interested in life being bland.

Though maybe it's just a matter of listening and finding what is out there. I don't know. When it comes down to it, I really want to have more choices. I want to be able to see great art, hear great music, and talk to great people. The question is where can I make that happen. I guess it can happen just about anywhere. Though, there are more people doing those types of things in New York or London than in Oregon, WI. So, I guess the big city is calling me. Maybe not forever, but I feel the desire to follow that voice. I keep thinking about the sirens in Greek Myth. The calling isn't always a good thing to listen to.