life and death

Has been an exhausting week - First my grandmother died and then my daughter got extremely sick, sending her to the childrens ICU. It hasn't been fun. (She is doing well and how the way to recovery)

Losing my grandmother has been an interesting process. While I hadn't seen her or talked to her much, upon hearing of her departure, I felt a loss of presence. Like a part of me had been gone. It's no longer there. I can feel where it should be right now. I'm going to miss her dearly.

With Greta, things happened very quickly. One moment she's a energetic kid and then next she's hooked up to a ventilator, totally sedated. It's hard to look at her now in bed and not expect her to just jump up.

Life tends to knock you up side the head when it needs too. Made me realize that family always should come first, art second. In a pursuit to reach goals, that distinction can get blurred.

So, with all this negativity, something has to go right soon. It might have already. Just have to be patient.